Dallas Strip Clubs: NFL Weekly Predictions: Week 4
… Well,” says Ray Lewis, “I’m sure after ducking gunfire from Tom Brady’s entourage, Revere would have relayed the message that ‘The brutish are coming! The brutish are coming! Then Paul would probably hand-deliver some bootleg daguerreotypes of a Ravens practice.”
“Now, I relish the chance to stare across the line at Brady, gaze into his eyes, and try to enter the mind of a quarterback and see what he sees, particularly in his bedroom.”
“Actually, I’d much rather enter the mind of a cornerback, like the Pats Jonathan Wilhite. This guy said two suspicious people were outside his home. One yelled at him, and Wilhite ran! Has he not read the NFL cornerback handbook? In that situation, you should wave your weapon in the air. Firing it is optional, but recommended. Then you should go to a strip club to calm your nerves. On top of all this, he injured his groin running from the suspicious people. So, instead of pulling a ‘jammy,’ he pulled a ‘hammy.’”